Vader's Buzzing Problem
by Wylde Wolf
Summary: Vader is having issues aboard his star destroyer. The constant buzzing is causing him problems. Just somehing I thought of earlier. One-shot.


_Buzzz..._

_Buzzzzzz... Buzzz..._

"Grah! Where is that incisive noise coming from?" Lord Vader roared. His vocabulator made him sound twice as scary as he would without it.

He looked around his chambers, searching for the source of the disturbance. When he didn't see anything, he searched with the Force. He found a small fly standing on the far wall. Pulling open a desk drawer, he grabbed a flyswatter. Proceeding to the far wall he attempted to kill it. As he swung the swatter, the fly moved on. Growling in frustration he swung again. He then waited for the fly to land again.

"I have you now!" Vader said as the fly landed on his desk.

As he swung, the fly moved and Vader ended up scattering the repots on his desk. Reaching out with the Force, Vader grabbed the fly. He held it in place and crushed it with the swatter.

Smiling in triumph under his mask, Vader decided to check up on Ozzel on the bridge.

"Lo...Lord Vader. I did not expect you so soon." Ozzel stuttered

"I came to make sure everything is running smoothly." Vader replied. He loved to scare Ozzel.

"Everything is working at maximum capacity. We were just about to run through the simulators." Ozzel said, hoping the dark lord would leave.

But Vader didn't leave. Instead he walked towards the bridge viewpoint.

_Buzzz..._

_Buzzzzzz...Buzzzz_

Vader stopped walking.

'I thought I kill the damn thing!' he thought to himself

"Is everything alright, milord?" Ozzel asked

"Everything is fine. I must attend to a report in my chambers." Vader said

"Of course." Ozzel sighed, thanking the maker for Vader's departure.

Vader returned to his chambers looking for the body of the fly he killed. But nothing was found.

'At least it's on the bridge. Maybe it'll annoy Ozzel.'

Vader then proceeded to enter his hyperactive pod. After his mask was removed, he massaged his temples, reflecting on recent events. The discovery that Padmé did not die by his hand, that she had lived long enough to give birth to their son, Luke. And that the monster he called master had lied to him.

_Buzzzzzz...Buzzzzzzz..._

Vader opened his eyes. Right in front of him, on a control panel, was the fly. Lashing out in anger, he proceeded to destroy the pest with his fist. After a moment, he decided the best way to kill the thing was to catch it and make sure he killed it. Putting his helmet back on, he contacted Ozzel.

"Yes, Lord Vader?" Ozzel asked

"Have someone find a package of fly paper and bring it to my chambers." He simply said.

"Yes, milord."

Minutes later, a stormtrooper entered Vader's chambers with a package of fly paper and left. Vader opened the package and left sheets of the sticky stuff all over his room.

'Now to wait.' He said, searching for the fly. He saw it on his desk, sitting there and rubbing its legs together. Hoping to scare it off, he sat down in his chair. It worked and the fly flew off. While he waited for the fly to land, he decided to do some paper work.

_Buzzz...Buzzzzzzz...Buzzzzzzz_

Vader looked up and saw the fly buzzing in front of his mask. Swatting at the fly with his fist, he smacked it on a piece of the fly paper he had put on the corner of his desk. He tried to rip the sheet off, but it stuck to his gloved hand. Using the Force, he tried to pull it off, but there was no success. He tried to catch the fly with the sheet of paper stuck to his hand. He followed it around the room and stepped on another sheet of fly paper. With his anger growing by the second, he lashed out with the force, causing the sheets of paper to fly around the room. When the whirlwind was over, Vader saw that he was covered with the fly paper.

_Beep...Beep_

Vader looked around for his commlink. Grabbing it off his desk, he answered immediately, thankful nobody could see him like this.

"Lord Vader, the Emperor is demanding that you speak to him." Ozzel said

"I'll contact him when I'm ready." Vader said. Of all times to contact him, Palpatine had to pick now.

"He demands that you speak with him now." Ozzel said with fear in his voice.

"Fine, I'll speak with him now. Patch him through to my chambers." Vader growled.

Sighing he walked to the room where he normally spoke to Palpatine. Kneeling he waited for the Emperor's face to appear. He was only imagining what he would say when he saw his apprentice covered in fly paper. He his face appeared, he burst out laughing.

"Lord Vader, what has happened to you? Did you get into a fight with a glue stick?" Palpatine cackled.

"I was trying to dispose of a fly that was causing me trouble." Vader said in all seriousness.

"Well, I can't take you seriously with you looking like this. Contact me whe you have removed the paper." Palpatine said wiping a tear away, before his image faded.

Vader stood up and walked out. He had no idea how to remove the paper. His lightsaber was his best option. Activating it, he carefully cut the paper away from his hands and arms. He needed a mirror to see his helmet. Stepping into the 'fresher', he removed the two pieces stuck to his helmet. He then removed the sheet stuck to his boot.

_Buzzz...Buzzzzzz...Buzzz..._

Vader roared in anger. Using his lightsaber he swung at the fly and managed to slice through the fresher door. Grabbing the fly with the Force, he sliced through it with his lightsaber.

"It is done." Vader said to himself.

Returning to contact his master, he sighed. Hopefully Palpatine will keep this incident a secret.

"That's much better. I would hate to have the Rebels find out that Fly paper will stop you." Palpatine said laughing still.

"It takes more than a pesky insect to do me in." Vader replied

_Buzzzz...Buzzzzzzz...Buzzz_

Lord Vader sighed. This was not his day.


End file.
